by Kevin O'Connor
December 24th, 2016
(Christmas Eve - Morning after the Hartford Gathering - Excerpt from a local morning radio show)
DJ Seabass: Goooooooodmorning Hartford! You're listening to The Fish Tank with your hosts DJ Seabass and The Electric Eel on Hartford's home for classic rock: 102.9 - The Whale!
*Foghorn sound*
DJ Electric Eel: That's right, folks! This show is called The Fish Tank with DJ Electric Eel and The Seabass, and we've got quite a show....what? No, fuck you Bill, we fucking agreed that-
*Loud buzzer sound*
DJ Seabass: ANYWAY let's talk about that Holiday Festival last night, huh? Took place in Bushnell Park and I hear it was a great success! Sponsored of course by 102.9 - The Whale, Hartford's home for classic rock!
*Foghorn sound*
DJ Electric Eel: That's right, Seabass! The park last night was filled with Christmas cheer as families gathered and sang Christmas carols. It was a real treat.
*Sound of a chorus singing the word 'Hallelujah' *
DJ Seabass: I think you mean Holiday cheer and Holiday carols, Eel!
DJ Electric Eel: It was definitely a Christmas party, Seabass! You would have known if you weren't legally obligated to stay 100 yards away from any place where children gather.
*Sound of a sitcom studio audience saying 'Uh oh!' *
DJ Seabass: Haha, real funny joke, Eel! What a prankster! Bet your kids love your funny jokes. You should give them a call this weekend and tell them some funny jokes while they spend Christmas this year with their step-dad.
*Sound of an audience laughing hysterically*
DJ Electric Eel: There's a public database for a reason, Seabass! I'm sure our listeners can check for themselves to see what you did with that 12 year-
*Loud buzzer sound*
DJ Seabass: HEY LOOK we've got some callers on the line from listeners who attended the Holiday Festival. Let's hear what they have to say about their experiences. We've got "Heather" on the line now. Heather, you there?
Heather: Hello?
DJ Seabass: Hello Heather! What can you tell us about the Holiday Festival?
Heather: It was great! I took my kids and they loved riding the carousel at night and drinking hot chocolate. It was actually warmer than usual out so lots of people showed up and-
*Caller gets disconnected as the sound of snoring plays*
DJ Electric Eel: Boring! What a snooze fest! Was she ever going to shut up?
DJ Seabass: It's truly a wonder that both of your marriages failed, Eel! Alright, let's hear from the next caller. We've got "Jason" here with us. Jason, you there?
Jason: Hey.
DJ Electric Eel: Tell us about the Christmas party, Jason.
Jason: Uh, it was alright I guess. Kind of weird. I took my daughter to see that snowman character from Frozen because she's somehow still obsessed with that movie after all this time.
DJ Seabass: Sounds like she needs to 'let it go'!
*Sound of Ed McMahon yelling 'HEY-OH' from the Johnny Carson show*
Jason: Heh...yeah, I guess she does. But I don't think the actor even watched the movie before putting on that snowman costume. He was just making up weird fantasy things to say like 'Britain shall have a King again' and 'His knights will defend our new realm of shadows and dreams' or something like that. My daughter cried the whole way home after meeting him and she had nightmares last night too.
DJ Seabass: Haha, wow, he didn't even know that Frozen is about Queen Elsa of Arendelle and not some King of England? Where did they find this guy?
*Sound clip of Will Ferrell saying "What an idiot, what a loser!" from the movie Wedding Crashers*
DJ Electric Eel: It's really no surprise that you've watched a children's movie despite having no children of your own, Seabass.
DJ Seabass: HAHA wow Eel still with those funny jokes. Sounds like Olaf isn't the only one making things up. Alright, next caller is Matt. Matt you there?
Matt: Hey guys, long time listener first time caller.
DJ Electric Eel: Good to hear from you Matt. What can you tell us about the Christmas event last night? You see this wacky snowman too?
Matt: Nah, it's just something has been bugging me for awhile now. You guys call this morning show The Fish Tank but electric eels are only found in freshwater environments and seabass are obviously saltwater fish from the ocean. What kind of fish tank could the two of you possibly be in together? You could have chosen just about any other type of bass, like this is a classic rock station so why not a Rock Bass? It just doesn't make any-
*Caller gets disconnected as a loud alarm sound plays*
DJ Seabass: Nerd alert! Nerd alert! Wow, what a nerd! Alright folks I think it's time for a quick commercial break. We'll be right back in a few minutes with The Fish Tank on 102.9 - The Whale, Hartford's home for classic rock!
*Foghorn sound*
(The First Annual Holiday Festival was a great success and its sponsors are getting hyped! Any PC who sponsored the event with an organization they influence gets +1 to their Media Influence for the next 3 months. This +1 can bring you above the cap of 5 if your Media is already maxed.)